4 month check up - this is a LONG one!

Today was Michael's 4 month check up. It went really well, and I was so proud. He only cried during the 2nd shot and once he got a snuggle from mama, he was fine. That's my big boy!! He is 15lbs 2oz and 25 1/2 inches long.

So, the dr asked me how he was sleeping and I answered "Fine until about 3 weeks ago". So, he went on to tell me that Michael apparently had developed a habit of waking up to be fed....he did it once and liked it, so decided to keep doing it. I had no idea. I thought he was legitimately hungry, after all, he eats for a good while every time he wakes up. So, the dr said, put him down to bed awake (this means no feeding him until he falls asleep and laying him down immediately after that, which is what I thought I was supposed to do....mistake #1 I guess), and if he wakes up, let him put himself back to sleep. So I asked, what about when I lay him down? What do I do if he cries then? He told me to let him cry. So, of course, I asked how long and he said "Initially, as long as it takes....let him cry until he goes to sleep. Then after that just don't rush to get him....give him a little bit to go back to sleep and then if he gets upset, check him to see if he spit up or if he has a dirty diaper, but don't pick him up (mistake #2...after I heard him make a peep, I would go to him so that he wouldn't get upset and not go back to sleep). The most important thing for a baby is to let them get a good nights sleep and that can only be done if they aren't waking up all throughout the night. I am not concerned about you (meaning me, the mom) getting sleep, I am concerned about HIM getting sleep. His brain and his little body need to grow and develop and the only way to do that is with a good night's sleep. Plus, good behavior starts with good sleep, and I don't want to see you on an episode of the Super Nanny". Then he laughed and said he was kidding about the super nanny thing.

Soooooo, I tried this at nap time. I am still nursing (although I think I am going to stop soon), so I fed Michael, he was still awake, but sleepy, and I walked him up to his room and laid him down. No rocking, no nothing. I just rubbed his forehead and told him to sleep good. I shut the door and not 2 seconds later, he is crying. So, I go downstairs and clean up a bit...still crying....I vacuum....still crying.....40 minutes later, he is still crying, so I go check on him, clam him down, and lay him back down. He is smiling and I think he is just fine. I walk out of site, and instantly he is crying. So, I listen to him a bit and realize that is his hungry cry. So, feeling terrible (he obviously didn't get enough to eat when I nursed him earlier) I made him a bottle and decided to stop with the breastfeeding on Monday (I've got some plans on friday and saturday and don't want to be miserable). I can't track how much he is eating and he is hungry all the time....it is a little sad though....and formula is expensive, so I might change my mind.....but that's the new plan....my original plan was to continue until he was 6 months......we'll see....my resolve is wavering as I type this. He ate 2 oz and then took a nice long nap in the swing. We'll try the nap in the crib again tomorrow.....he won't be able to fit in that swing forever....

Then tonight, it was a little better. He ate cereal, changed into jammies, ate a bottle, fell asleep and wouldn't eat any more, changed his diaper so that he wouldn't be asleep when I laid him down and Mike and I proceeded to put him down for the night. We prayed together, and then left the room. About a minute later he was crying. I really was not prepared for this one! I thought he would go down to bed for the night just fine. He usually does, and then it hit me....I was nursing him to sleep....I was doing it all wrong. I remember having read somewhere that you should not nurse your child to sleep because it would be a difficult habit to break when they get older, but I guess I didn't realize that I was doing that or something.....or maybe I just blocked it until just now while I am writing this, I don't know. Anyway, finally after 27 minutes of crying off and on (mostly on), he quieted down a little, and then at 32 minutes he was asleep.

Thank you Lord for letting Michael go to sleep. Please don't let him hate me in the morning and please don't let him be traumatized and never want to sleep in his bed again (these are silly things I worry about)

Yay! We followed the Dr's orders and will hopefully begin to sleep easy soon.

This is probably what he looked like when he first fell asleep....he was definitely not happy about being asleep in these pics.